It is drizzling outside…a nagging depressing drizzle. It is making me feel so empty. The void is disturbing me so much that I think I could even make use of a vacuum cleaner! It is my birthday eve but I feel no butterflies in my belly! Why is it so? I really do not know! Perhaps it is age!! Am growing older...! Does excitement fade as you delve deeper into the monotony of adulthood!
I have no idea why an old Bengali song is buzzing in my ears- “proti bochhor jonmodine ekti kore boyesh baare/ tobu moner boyish baarte dio na!!
O amar chhotto bondhura shono..Amar ekta kotha shono…tomra jano buro hoyona!”
It means- “Every year the birthday comes and makes us old by another year! But o my dear little friends do not let your age decide the span of your youthful days…” I feel alarmed…am I approaching an untimely senility?
Why does not the rain seem as beautiful as it used to?
Why don’t the greener-pastures look as fresh as they used to?
I no more feel as juvenile as I used too!
Yet that song turns me on and on and on… “o amar chhotto bondhuraa…..”
Perhaps that is the only sap still living in me…growing in me...nurturing me...And reminding me of the innocent suns I lived!
Well no matter what, the 00hr today will no doubt fill me with a sense of undefined pleasure…I know it will!...I hope it will!
I have grown through more suns and less storms…yet I feel ripe! And ready to face the world!
…Come beloved birthday…give me another rare opportunity to reminisce all that I have grown with…in this imperfect journey of becoming this not so ladylike Me.
Come …smear me with droplets of childhood!
Come, come, come ye one more time…I know not how many I will get to live…so even if I feel less excited even if I feel like a suppressed adult…you break the barrier and sweep me away…one more grand time…
The chiming of the bell I hear!
And, here I prepare to grow into another blessed year!
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