Click-Clack...click-clack...the keys keep chattering with each other. I type the title of this composition and wonder what to compose. Time and again such tragedies have happened in my life. "Deja Vu", the feeling of familiarity, this phrase strikes a chord whenever I sit down to compose something. I feel like theorizing some great philosophical doctrine or perhaps something of similar sublime nature. But Alas! everytime i fall on the "timidity" of life and I do not bleed!(no matter how i wish for a drop of blood that would stain me as a tragic queen).
I do not understand why i suffer from this disease of familiarity. More often than not, the episodes of my life, seem to be an everlasting repetition of some very known "unknowns". The post-modernists would definitely label me a schizophrenic. But honestly, when i attempt to prove that "i'm diferent", when i try to break the shell, when i want to raise a voice of protest, i am caught by a monstrous Deja Vu! That tells me not to try. That compels me to give up and sigh. That tells me that such attempts have taken place a millionth time in the past and will take place an n-nth time in the future. so am no one exceptional. Thus stops my wheel of "parivartan"(no pun intended).
"Let there be light".and there was a conflagration. Let there be life...and women were raped. I still wonder sitting at the desk top computer of my office. Why do i suffer from Deja Vu? And as i look back to see whether i have a follower or a comrade...i find an entire humanity behind me..and an entire humanity ahead of me..so the Deja Vu looms large...even in my contemplation...!
I hope someday in this wretched mind an idea would come without the blemish of familiarity!
